How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Enjoy the penises
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
