man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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