I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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