I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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