Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
