you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
