Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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