im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
