I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
