Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
