On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
