Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
