That's intense
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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