worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
