Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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