How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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