Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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