I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
