mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
