Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
