ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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