Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
