Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
