What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
