My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
