It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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