Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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