he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
