that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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