I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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