You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
