Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
