Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
