thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
