I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
