Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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