maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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