I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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