dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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