I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My ATM looks so different sober.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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