i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
