@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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