I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
