Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
