Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
