Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
