6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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