The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
