yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
