There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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